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(If you came searching for ALO's Barbeque, click the word. It's a good song, that's why I borrowed it's lyrics.)

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Pride and other meandering thoughts

There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package....Take me or leave me. Accept me--or walk away. --Stacey Charter
Janet's not there yet, as far as pride goes, but I saw a glimpse the other day. We were traveling north with many stops along the way, long stretches of highway between stops. Sometimes she'd listen to her music, other times get talkative. With her imagination the miles flew. She had seen a video of the Anne Frank story which prompted her flow of thoughts. I would have saved Anne Frank. I would have assassinated Hitler. I would have gotten there in time. Let's just say I was a soldier. She paused. Could women be soldiers? I answered that I wasn't sure, back then, maybe not. Well, that's okay, she said smugly, I'm trans! I'd go in as a spy, as a man, and kill Hitler! Then I'd come out and be a woman, and nobody would recognize me! This was the first time I've heard say call herself "trans" in a proud, even heroic way.


Janet loves the 'what if.' She often starts a sentence with "let's just say" or "what if." Most of her "what if" questions have no plausible answers, unless you realize they mean we should let our imaginations fly. What would our cat say if she turned into a human? Would she say she was mad at us for keeping her in our house, or thank us for the food? Literalist that I sometimes am, I would say, How should I know? She can't do that! Until I realized she meant let's imagine...

On the car ride she worried about the drive, peppering me with questions of safety and getting lost and weather conditions. I cracked up when she said, what if our tire gets flattered?

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